do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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