chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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