So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
