we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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