Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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