cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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