South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
