we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
