It's Friday. Sex?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
