if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
