We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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