I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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