He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize