Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
