she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
