For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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