so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
