My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
