yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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