we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
