barbara walters just said penis...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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