My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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