So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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