Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
