i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
