there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
