so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
