Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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