I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
