So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize