Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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