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do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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