We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
