people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
