My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
