How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
