i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
