One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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