Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the day after is always just damage control
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
