Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
