Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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