Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
