i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
