This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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