You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I touched a dick in church today
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
