This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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