remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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