just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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