I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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