But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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