Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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