Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
