I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I need to sanitize my soul.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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