im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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