So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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