You're my little dorito
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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